Kashmiri Weddings Draw Sharp Contrast Between Rich and Poor

MUBAIRAH JAN

The Prophet Muhammad(صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, ”The best wedding is that upon which the least trouble and expense Is bestowed” (Mishkat). How many of us have seen people or themselves following the narrated Hadith? Every now and then we come across a majority of weddings where people spend their whole life’s earnings only to impress the society and just to compete with each other. As has been almost everyone’s experience, we in Kashmir want to get everything done royally without keeping in mind that there are different types of people living in the society. We forget the fact that if we can easily afford the things, the other people living around may not. By giving a go-bye to the lesser privileged families, we just are creating a social stigma for such families once they fail to exhibit lavishness in their wedding ceremonies.
In every wedding lakhs are being spent on unnecessary things. Such fashions and trends have been included in weddings that can’t be afforded by a normal person and were unheard of some years ago. We frequently get to read about the suicidal cases that are being attempted by girls and guardians of the girls. Is this fair? Do we need to think and rethink about the same? These expenses may be as easy as pie for a rich person but at the same time it can be a cause of death for a poor person. We as society need to change this system as a whole and we as educated fellows need to change the mindset of those people who think that by making all these expenses they are doing no good to the society. This month I attended a wedding of a close relative and I saw so many unnecessary things that I outrightly felt should have not been done. I saw costly dry fruit boxes, which made me think whether such a thing was needed and at the same time made me think whether a normal fellow in the society can afford it at all. Similarly I saw the bride taking gifts with her inlaw’s house which were too expensive and nonetheless given the ongoing trend, the marriage thing will be more difficult for the people with lesser means and resources. Wazwan is known to everyone and happens to be a part of our tradition. Preparing cuisine for relatives and friends is not bad but the evil starts at the time when more and more things are added in it like expensive crockery, new dishes and like things, just to show-off one’s wealth. Same is the case with Wardan (clothing for bride and groom). I want everyone to think and rethink about such things. For me, if this huge amount of money that’s being spent on weddings for unnecessary things would be rather spent for many other noble causes, a better nation can be built. If we donate this money or a part of it, no one would be poor in Kashmir. How can we then expect an incredible Kashmir in return Kashmir when lakhs of rupees are spent on decorations only. Before summarising, I am here giving you a brief summary about Islamic wedding. The actual Islamic wedding is known as NIKKAH. It is supposed to be a simple ceremony, at which the bride does not have to be present as long as she sends two witnesses to the drawn up agreement . Normally ,the ceremony consists of reading from the Quran ,and the exchange of vows in front of witnesses for both partners. And has been enshrined in Ahadith, this ceremony should be normally conducted in a masjid. If everyone will follow this kind of methodology for weddings, a better society can be witnessed. We all need to realize that the Sunnah made by Allah and followed by our Prophet Muhammad (SAW) should be performed in the manner as we have been told to. We need to share this message with the whole of Ummah .Let us maintain the beauty of a simple Nikkah and set an example for everyone .Let us marry our children with as much humbleness as our Prophet (PBUH) did. If somebody has to take an initiative ,then why not
I, we and you?

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